Yes, I have seen the effects of a male being too sympathetic to his mate. When my father was recently divorced, I asked his ex- why. He had put her on a pedastal. Treated her with near complete deferrence. She was given everything for which she asked. She was allowed to do as she pleased. Her response was simply that she wanted a man who took control and did not always buckle to her whims and will. She expressed that she had once thought she wanted a man to treat her like a goddess, but once she realized what that meant, she had changed her mind. She wanted a man to rebuke her on occasion. She wanted some rules to make her feel she inspired jealousy in her mate. She needed to feel the man was willing to “know better” than her. Now this is not a weak person. She is highly educated and more ambitious than a school of sharks cruising the breakers of a seal ridden beach. No stay-at-home mom here, not a mother at all. She did not want a mysogenist… but she did want to see some authority in her mate. My father had bent himself out of his own will to try to keep her happy, and it destroyed the relationship. She had wanted him to be a HIM, not a him.

personally i think over the past two years i found myself becoming less of man. over the past few months i’ve found myself return to what i am and striving for what i will become. in terms of the “line” between job duties for the sexes, i think it really boils down to mankind’s inability to operate in the grey. maybe i am just projecting my own inability in that regard as well. who knows.

suffice it to say, i feel quite honored to live with such a literary genius, even if he doesn’t feel the label is justified.

As for xipetotec’s verbal skills – he’s shur got a way with them purty words. I’m lucky if I manage to string a couple of grammatically correct 5 word sentences together. Actually, I directed a coworker to this blog so she could read his past two posts, particularly the Ginsburg-ish one. She was an english major and really enjoyed them… although this gender role post got her blood boiling (she’s also a fem-power cubed type).

I have to say that my limited life experiences taught me that women definitely want their men to be men – not necessarily in the classical bread-winner masogynistic sense, but emotionally. The whole “tell me what you’re feeling” and behaving emotionally like a chick will only make you the bitch of the relationship. The women I’ve know that say they want sensitivity doesn’t mean wear a skirt and watch Martha. If you toss out the typical emotional traits of being a man (assertive, driven, somewhat aloof and oblivious, oafish, etc etc)… I believe they will lose interest and go find a guy that still has them.

I would be just fine staying at home with the kids and my wife have the career. That wouldn’t make me less of a man. Cook, clean the house, do the laundry – whatever. Those things don’t imply one particular gender should do them. However – if the wife got home and I started into the “honey, how was your day… can I get anything for you… put up your feet and let me pamper you” routine… I’d be a bitch, not a man. The “manish” way to do that would be “Good day? Yeah, great. Want a beer? I made some nachos, you want some? Ok. I’ll let you chill. Gotta go make sure the kids aren’t juggling knives.”

That’s my shallow interpretation.

in terms of the effiminization of the american male, i would have to say it is quite prevelant. i think the most telling sign is the new “category” of male: “metrosexual.” i won’t go as far as to say i loath the attributes, but it is not a label i would ever desire applied to myself. a quick search on the “definition of” turns up: “A young man concerned with self-image, self-indulgence and money.” those three things are at the bottom of the barrel in terms of what i hold in highest esteem. i would imagine that some would say that my obsession and drive with music is in fact a “self-indulgence;” that my constant acceptance of “freelance work” shows my concern with money. it isn’t the case. for one to be self-indulgent to me means a level of obsession with one’s self. i take freelance as a means to an end. in terms of music, as hard as it may seem to understand, i do not just do it because i enjoy it; i do it because i must for my sanity.

i am in fact a huge supporter of the equality of the sexes, because we are equal. however i do not understand why in this day and age why women have in general begun to look down on their “sisters” for “giving it all up” to raise a family. that is in fact the hardest (and in my eyes the most rewarding) thing life has to offer. i wonder if those that look down on their “sisters” realize that on some level they are thumbing their nose at their own mothers. it seems that we are all equal in our own abilities to exist within the “grey area” between the “black and white” of extremes.

i’ve said it before, but it deserves mentioning again. i am a simple working man. my ideal living environment is very eastern (xipetotec stated he and batterman felt my tastes were quite japanese) and uncluttered. i keep myself clean and “groomed” but if the “wage slave” were allowed to be somewhat unshaven, i would not shave every other day. i would shave when it itched.

the hacienda del buggo is a better place with the intellect of xipetotec.

Either that or put those fingers to use around the Mosquito compound and prepare for hunkering down for winter… You’ve got a couple pre-cold homestead projects in the works, doncha bugwonder?

Idle hands are the devil’s tools… *snicker & snerk*